My husband and I had no alone time when his sons were there. No sex. No nothing.” Sandy admits she was deeply resentful that Tim even had children, though she never let her stepsons see her negative emotions.
“I wanted to say to my husband, ‘What were you thinking?’ I was so pissed no one consulted me about this! You totally screwed up our lives by having these children.” While Sandy was struggling with her feelings about her stepsons, she learned she could not express them out loud to anyone who wasn’t a stepmom.
“I have a lot of single girlfriends who have kids. If I told them my horrifying feelings, they would say, ‘You’re out of your mind.’ That would make me feel worse. I learned how to talk in front of moms, because they just don’t get it. But I needed to hear I wasn’t evil. It’s really important for other people to say your feelings are okay. Just don’t let the kids know you hate them.”
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